20180511海德京华周五“有聊”:成为想要孩子变成的大人

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亲爱的家长,

您好!

这些日子,我很庆幸抽出时间阅读了布琳 • 布朗的著作《活出感性》Daring Greatly。书中,她提到了一系列可能让人感到羞愧或内疚的事情,并指出家庭教育很关键地影响孩子的荣辱心。

在我们很多家长中,包括我,认为今天为孩子做出的决定——小至给孩子选择的食物,大到孩子的择校决定——将会对他们的未来产生深远的影响,但更重要的是,我们的教育方式到底是好还是坏呢。

书里有一章节,布琳希望父母重新思考教育,我们是否真的可以“选择”孩子的教育,还是我们自身的言行举止才是真正渗入孩子心灵的有效教育。无论是好是坏,孩子是我们的“小镜子”。相信您已经知道,我们要想把孩子培养成有爱心尊敬他人的成年人,我们自身的行动就要流露出关心和尊重。这个方法也适用于其他方面,但也许是细水长流,悄无声息的。

例如,我们想让孩子领会到朝着目标努力的重要性,则需要用实际行动展示努力工作给我们带来的种种奖励,这对孩子的影响是几句训导无法匹及的。再比如,如果我们过于关注工作中的挫折,展现给孩子的则是负面的:工作很累,令人沮丧,而不是充满挑战与辛勤过后的回馈。

我打心底地热爱工作以及我在社区里所做的一切,但在漫长的一天结束后,我很容易反复回想工作中最让我头疼的事情,这种沮丧与挫败感会在我与孩子的互动中表露出来。正因如此,我没有很好地让他们知道工作,尤其在教育领域,是充满挑战与乐趣的,我展现给他们的却是努力工作后的精疲力竭。这并没有反射出真实的我,因此我并不是“我想要他们成为的大人”。

所以,我给自己的挑战是-通过自身行动-展现出努力工作的价值。您能想到一个领域,需要您成为“想要孩子变成的大人”吗?

祝您周末愉快!

Jennifer Sachs

海德京华国际双语学校执行校长

2018年5月11日

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Dear Parents,

I have had the pleasure of reading a wonderful book by the author Brené Brown called Daring Greatly. In the book, she focuses on a range of situations where people may feel shame or guilt, and she highlights parenting as a key area in which many feel guilt or shame.

Many of us, including me, believe that the choices we make today – everything from which food we give our children to which school we choose – will have a lasting impact on their future, and more importantly will be a statement of how good – or bad – our parenting was.

In this section of the book, she challenges parents to reconsider this, and to instead realize that we lead by example. Our children – for better or worse – will become reflections of us in many ways.  As many of us already know, if we want to raise children into caring and respectful adults, we will need to demonstrate care and respect through our own actions. But, this challenge is also true in other, less obvious ways.

For example, if we want our children to appreciate the importance of working toward our goals diligently, we need to show – through our actions not our words – the benefits of working hard. If we focus on our frustrations about work, for example, we demonstrate that work is tiring and frustrating – not rewarding and exciting.

This is near and dear to my heart. I LOVE my work and all that I do in the community, but at the end of a long day, it is tempting to focus on the hardest aspects of this effort, and that can come out through my interactions with my boys. Because of this, instead of inspiring them to see work – and especially work in education – as rewarding and exciting, I shine a light on hard work as exhausting. This does not reflect who I am truly, and therefore I am not in fact ‘being the adult I want them to become’.

Moving forward, my challenge is to show – through my actions – the value of working hard. Can you think of an area where you need to ‘become the adult you want your child to be’?

Warmest wishes,

Jennifer

Administrative Principal

Hyde Academy

Hyde Academy